Political Commentary on Serbian Elections

In Belgrade in 2026,

it is still not known who actually came to power

because, with all due respect

for that fine academic

world that entered the Serbian parliament,

hardly anyone asked about their

political worldview and

ideological affiliation.

The only question in the election was

whether you were for or against Vučić.

So not only did the Serbs

sweep away both the

government and the

opposition in one blow,

they do not even know why

or for whom they voted.

All Serbs who voted

for the student list,

leftists and rightists, Partisans and

Chetniks, now think

that their side won.

And so, on election night,

the wife of Velja Nevolja, who

is currently in custody,

suspected of multiple murders,

kidnappings, rapes and drug dealing, celebrated.

Because Mrs. Nevolja also thinks that

with the fall of Vučić’s regime, dawn broke

Freedom for her husband, Velja.

If it weren't for Vučić and the Chetniks,

there wouldn't be a single problem here.

And when they took Vučić from us on

the very first night, now these

kids want to take the Chetniks away from us too.

Well, dear children,

without Chetniks in Serbia,

we Croatians would have

nothing to talk about or anyone

to think about. If, after all this,

Serbia doesn't end up

with some

decent Chetnik government, we're totally screwed.

If some peaceful Europeans prevail there,

the worst thing could

happen to us:

we might start dealing with ourselves.

Just imagine that horror!

Who in their right mind wants to

face themselves and their own problems?

For 30 years,

we've built our national

identity on the idea that

Serbs and Chetniks are to blame for everything,

and now they might take that away from us.

So, dear students,

if you absolutely must change the government, please

you to keep a couple of Chetniks so we can

continue these bilateral relations in which

we all equally enjoy ourselves

and please stop trampling on Vojislav Šešelj's remains.

Return him, brother, let him keep hanging there,

because if he isn't hanging, we're

left hanging here.