Hindi → English transcript

Let me tell you a case study in this.

Yes. So what happened was that a woman came to me,

she was from a very good family, well groomed.

She had been married for around seven or eight years,

there was a very strong love between her and her husband.

Their married life was going very well,

they also had a lovely little daughter. When she came alone to meet me,

she said that many times at night…

I suddenly wake up and I start sweating, I get cold sweats.

I become very nervous and then I cannot sleep the whole night, and I start to panic…

And I have been suffering from this for many days. When we talked further,

she told me this— that when I was seventeen or eighteen years old…

I was a college girl,

and I was in love with some boy then…

And the two of us also had physical relations. This is from long ago,

today that woman is about thirty- seven or thirty- eight years old.

So she is talking about something from twenty years ago.

So when I was about seventeen or eighteen, I also had a relationship with him,

and I also got pregnant. But at that time, as soon as I got pregnant,

we went and got an abortion done.

And after that, with that boy, I was not able to continue talking with him…

Because his family migrated somewhere to another country. And it was in those days,

so in those days we were not able to stay in contact in any way.

That is, there was not even any reason for a breakup,

but his whole family migrated to another country…

And all the relationship between us ended.

After that I never had any other boyfriend, and I also never married anyone…

If I did not have any relationship with anyone in the first place.

Only the man who is now my husband, whom I love very much,

whom I respect very much… With whom… who loves me very much.

There is an amazing understanding

between us and even after getting married it has already been ten years.

But I did not tell my husband about this old matter.

That means that somewhere I have kept something important hidden from my husband,

and this guilt eats me up. That is why I wake up at night, I cannot sleep.

So doctor, you tell me,

should I tell this to my husband? I advised her, absolutely do not tell him.

Why did I give such advice?

I said, whatever that seventeen or eighteen year old girl did, are you that girl?

No. And was the man who is your husband today in your life then? He was not.

The woman you are today loves her husband so much...

The bond she has with her husband today has such deep respect for each other,

as much love as there is...

Today’s woman is something else entirely.

And that girl who was seventeen or eighteen when she had an affair with someone she

was a different girl.

Why are you taking responsibility today for that seventeen- or eighteen-

year- old girl? Today,

when you have relations with your husband there is no other man in your life…

And you are managing your home and family very well.

So why are you taking responsibility today for this old matter…

I mean, this matter is over… She was one woman, and you are another woman.

Understand this matter about that seventeen…

and there is absolutely no need at all to tell your husband about it…

Because telling him will not solve anything. It will not make any difference,

you still love him and he still loves you.

And then, after understanding this with a good counselor slowly,

slowly, slowly the entire storm inside her calmed down…

And then even that pain stopped bothering her.

That is why I say this whole concept of virginity… We should slowly let go of it.

Today the person you are married to, and if you say you are faithful,

if you are committed to them…

Then to me, in that, what you did in the old days…

what you did in your youth, it does not matter.

What you did in your youth has no relevance. Sir, that was a very profound point.