Political Commentary on Brazilian Leadership
Nov 3, 2026 3:17 About Brazil
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Gentlemen, our leader and official president of
Brazil has just landed.
Sixty million votes aren't afraid of anyone.
He's the giant of the right, Flávio Bosonaro.
Aw, he's so cute.
Wow, what a man!
Need a hand, bro?
No, no. I can do it.
If anyone needs an Uber, I'll drive and give you a discount.
First of all…
The first official act of the government in exile, the Letter to the Nation.
I suggest opening with: "I am the true president-elect."
Hmm, good, hmm. That way I won't have to pay the bet I made with
the
Michele.
Put in the New World Order, the Illuminati, the power of the reptilians
and Flávio's escape.
What the hell is that, Alan? Not escape, man.
Exile makes it sound courageous.
Right, right. Exile is much better than saying he
ran away because of the
Seventy million dollars the crook gave to his father's movie.
Alan!
It's forbidden to say he's being investigated for laundering a billion
dollars with his friend.
Alan!
Nobody talks about that. Forbidden. And don't mention kickbacks or the chocolate
factory.
Alan,
you can stop helping now.
Guys, aren't you forgetting someone? Did you check with Olávio?
Talking shit, f*cking hell, madness! Motherfucker!
USA! Oh, mother!
Hey, everyone, glad you called me. I've been following everything live from over there.
Everything's fine.
Master!
Guys, it's Trump. The man wants the letter.
Wait, there's one detail Brazilians are going to
love.
Change the coat of arms to the United States of Brazil.
With a Z.
Of course, is there any other way?
"Is
this for real? These guys are nuts." "Wow, they
really do everything we ask."
I'm tired, guys. I'm still getting used to the pit.
Figueiredo, post on your social media that I'm going now
to Disney.
"Hello,
Mr. President." "Everything good? Is Left Domnaro working yet?"
"Yes, sir. Just one strange thing." "Go ahead."
"I thought Domnaro was bigger." "Nah,
losers are usually that size.
End of transcript · 331 words · machine translated
Original transcript (Portuguese)
Senhores, o nosso líder e presidente oficial do Brasil acabou de pousar. Sessenta milhões de votos não tem medo de ninguém. Ele é o gigante da direita, Flávio Bosonaro. Ai, como ele é fofo.
Uau, que macho! Quer ajuda, mano? Não, não. Eu consigo. Se alguém precisar de Uber, eu levo e faço desconto. Antes de tudo...
Primeiro ato oficial do governo do exílio, a Carta à Nação. Sugiro abrir com: "Eu sou o verdadeiro presidente eleito." Hum, boa, hum. Assim eu não pago a aposta que eu fiz com a Michele.
Coloca a Nova Ordem Mundial, os Illuminati, o poder dos reptianos e a fuga do Flávio. Que absurdo é esse, Alan? Fuga não, cara. Exílio dá um ar de coragem. Isso, isso. Exílio é muito melhor do que falar que ele
fugiu por causa dos setenta milhões de dólares que o bandido deu pro filme do pai dele. Alan! Proibido falar que ele tá sendo investigado por lavagem de um bilhão de dólares com o amigo.
Alan! Ninguém fala disso. Proibido. E nem de rachadinha e fábrica de chocolate. Alan, agora já pode parar de ajudar.
Gente, vocês não tão esquecendo ninguém, não? Já consultaram o Olávio? Falar merda, c*r*lia, loucura! Motherfucker! USA! Oh, mother! Opa, pessoal, que bom que me chamaram. Tô acompanhando tudo de lá, ao vivo. Tá tudo certo.
Mestre! Gente, é o Trump. O homem tá pedindo a carta. Pera aí, falta um detalhe que o brasileiro vai amar. Muda o brasão pra Estados Unidos do Brasil.
Com Z. Claro, tem outro jeito? "Is this for real? These guys are nuts." "Wow, they really do everything we ask."
Cansei, pessoal. Ainda tô me ajustando ao fosso. Figueiredo, posta aí nas suas redes que eu vou agora pra Disney. "Hello, Mr. President." "All good? Is Left Domnaro working yet?"
"Yes, sir. Just one weird thing." "Go ahead." "I thought Domnaro was bigger." "Nah, losers are usually that size."
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